Parenting: FAIL

I FAIL at parenting this week.

I was having a confrontation with my 3yr old, and called my Mom for advice since I was about to go postal. She reminded me that it was just a stage, and that our 3yr old was just testing me. Do time-outs until she agrees to clean up her toys. This did work, but required
4 consecutive time-outs before our 3yr old complied with Mummy's demands.

My Dad then called to tell me that he thinks I should just chill out, and let my kids be who they want to be - forget the cleaning up. It is an unnecessary battle. It is more important to let them discover who they are. HA! I said. HA! again, I said. When did he ever have to clean up after a child? I asked him. I reminded him that he doesn't even clean up after himself. Not to mention that the mess becomes a reason for the Hubster to get miffed with me for not keeping the house as clean as Mother Superior did/does = Marriage Stress.

Five hours later, I am not saying Ha. I think my Dad is on to something. This piece of advice is exactly the OPPOSITE of how he parented me. So there may very well be something to it. In retrospect, I have to consider that maybe, just maybe, I have been trying to get my kids to do what I tell them to do (OBEY), for no other reason than to make my life easier. So instead of being the kind of parent my kids need, I have been forcing them to be the children that I want.  Which in practice is making my life harder. This is going to be a hard wall to stop banging my head against. 

In the mean time, my 1.5yr old is stomping around saying NO! and squishing up her face in an effort to emote serious displeasure. She looks so freaking cute I just want to eat her up! Conversely, I am afraid that she is a little walking reflection of me.

Well OBVIOUSLY I just need some alcohol. Where the hell is that bottle of Rum?



Anonymous said…
Mother superior says thanks for the clean house compliment --I agree with your Dad -if Hubster doesn't like toys everywhere let him clean them up !

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